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Thursday, October 29, 2009

How to Deal with a Commitment Phobic Man

While it is generally believed that men take proactive roles in establishing long lasting relationships, the truth is that many of them appear very reluctant to take this step. This means that there are high chances of finding out that your guy is one of those who suffer from commitment phobia. In such a case, you are likely to be frustrated as you find it nearly impossible to change the status quo. You have always been taught that it is the man who should propose to you. So, how should you deal with a commitment phobic man.
You do not have to resign yourself to a life of unceasing dating. Although it is true that it is the man who should make the all-important proposal, this does not mean that there is nothing you can do in order to speed up the process. There are some subtle ways that you may use in order to encourage your guy to opt for a more serious commitment.

Perhaps you have noticed that your guy seems to rise to the opposition whenever an acquaintance decides to settle down in marriage. Of course this is something that will make you feel quite hurt, as it reflects the position he puts you in as far as your relationship is concerned. However, if you decide to raise an argument about it, then you are likely to make matters worse. The guy will instinctively go to the defensive, and he will do everything he can to resist your point of view.

You should use a method that is known as reverse psychology. This is whereby you do the opposite of what the guy expects of you. Instead of making him know how much you would love to walk down the aisle with him, you should give the impression that you are not really concerned about your future together. In this way, the guy will realize that he is likely to lose you if he maintains his current status.

Although men enjoy our company, many of them seem to associate a serious commitment with the loss of their cherished freedom. This is what keeps them from taking the steps we would long for. Hence a good way of influencing your man to consider marriage is to make him realize that you will give him room to be himself. The best way of doing this is to show him through your actions, not saying it verbally.

You will be able to drive home this message when your commitmet phobic man realize that you also have an independent life that you have to take care of.

If you pursue your own interests that do not include him, your guy will take comfort in the fact that you won't smother his life, and he will be interested in developing a stronger relationship.

Once you have determined that that is the man you would like to spend the rest of your life with, there are things that you can do to make him get out of his commitment phobia now.

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