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Friday, May 6, 2011

Getting Through A Distressing Love Break Up

It can be absolutely devastating when you break up with someone that you are madly in love with and at times you might not think you can get through it. But although it isn't easy, you will get through this distressing time.

The first thing you need to determine is whether the relationship truly is over or whether it can be saved. Sometimes break ups occur in the heat of the moment and your boyfriend may change his mind when he has time to think about it. If you think that your relationship can be saved then there are a number of ways to go about get your man back.

Don't go overboard chasing him and begging him to come back to you, at first you will need to give him some space. Don't even text or call him for a few days, if he wants to call you he will.

Don't get too stressed if he doesn't contact you straight away, give it about a week and if you haven't heard from him then call him. Don’t make desperate pleas to get him back, keep it casual and reasonably short. Just make it a quick phone call to say hello and ask him how he is doing.

When you are giving your ex boyfriend some space you will have some time yourself; to think things through. So have a good think about what might have gone wrong in the relationship and if there is anything that you can do to change it.

Although you don't want to change yourself too much for anyone, is there any chance that you have let yourself go as the relationship has gone on. With any new relationship both parties put in a lot of effort to be nice and to look nice, but as the relationship is developing further those efforts can be less and less.

When you call your ex boyfriend you can invite him out to dinner so you can talk things over. Perhaps it is time to spice up the relationship and put some romance back into it. Maybe you can get dressed up and have your hair done and invite him out to dinner. Try to impress him all over again as if it were your first date.

There are other things to think about within the relationship that might have gone wrong. Were you arguing much and if so was it over any particular issue. Were you spending too much time with your friends and not enough time with him? Have you been overly possessive of him?

If you can work out what went wrong then you can take steps to make some changes to improve the relationship. If your love is strong and you are meant to be together, then you should be able to talk things through and save your relationship.

On the other hand, there is a chance that he has fallen out of love and wants to move on with his life. If this is the case then there is not a lot you can do to win him back and you might need to prepare yourself to move on with your life without him. You can still consider what might have gone wrong in your relationship and learn from the experience so that you won't make the same mistake in future relationships.

Before you begin a new relationship you should take time for yourself and find out exactly what you want in life and in a relationship. Don't go out with someone new just for the sake of having a boyfriend, don’t settle for second best. Mr. Right is out there for you and you will find him when the time is right.

Getting to know yourself and what you want in life will make you a stronger, happier and confident woman. These features are all attractive to men and will help you to attract that special man you are looking for.

Break ups do happen and although they are distressing they are part of life. If you can save your relationship then put in the effort to do so but if it is definitely over then you need to move on with your life.

Use your relationship as a learning experience and take whatever you can from it and improve yourself and your life.