Relationship breakup, what are the signs? Are you worried that your relationship is getting ready to crash and burn? Not sure what signs you should be on the lookout for? No one likes to be blindsided. Being blindsided always results in pain whether physical or emotional. Even if your relationship ends, the pain will be a little less if you can see it coming and brace for impact. There are some signs that all may not be well on the home front, if you keep your eyes open.
The first thing you need to remember is that we are usually pretty good at lying to ourselves. We are remarkably adept at keeping the blinders firmly in place if removing them would be to face certain pain. In the long run though you only do more harm than good by ignoring the inevitable. It's best to see things clearly, if you do you may actually have a chance to change the direction your relationship is taking and prevent the breakup.
Here are some signs that you need to keep an eye out for:
1. If you and your partner used to be joined at the hip but all of a sudden they seem to have a lot of more important things to do, you may be headed for a breakup. Of course, don't be a twit and ignore the fact that they just got a promotion and they're a lot busier at work. If they don't have a reasonable excuse for their sudden absence you may want to sit them down and have a talk with them to try and figure out what is going on.
Make sure that you ask them what the problem is and not accuse them of anything. If you accuse them of something and they are just feeling a little down or overwhelmed you may just give them cause to end the relationship. Be careful to not come off defensively. Stay calm and rational when you talk to them.
2. Does your 'better half' suddenly seem to need a lot of privacy? If their habits change and they become much more private it could be a sign that they are talking to someone and they don't want you to know. If they are suddenly leaving the room to talk on their cell phone, or they are taking their laptop into the other room, you may want to ask them, nicely, what's going on. If they say 'nothing' that might well be your answer since it's obvious that their behavior has changed and if they don't have a good reason why it could be that there isn't a good reason. Again, though, give them the benefit of the doubt. You'd look awfully stupid if you accused them of something when all they were doing was planning a great anniversary trip or surprise birthday party.
3. Sex, do you still have it as often as you once did? Is there a change in who initiates it? If your partner used to always want sex and suddenly they just don't seem interested, it could be a sign that they have found someone else. Of course, it could also be a sign that they're tired, overwhelmed, depressed, etc. Don't jump to conclusions, just ask.
Many times the signs of a relationship break up are pretty easy to spot, as long as you're not so afraid to see them that you ignore them. By spotting them early you've got a much better shot at dealing with whatever the issues are before the actual breakup. You might just be able to save your relationship by keeping your eyes wide open.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Questions Relationship - Here's How to Get Started
If you are dating someone and those around you who questions relationship that you are in, do yourself a big favor and listen. More often than not your best friend, your mother, or sister will see some signs that you know are there, though you may sometimes deny it. No one should be bind themselves to a bad relationship, life is just too short.
I guess when it comes right down to it my first bit of advice would be to stay out of bad relationships in the first place. I know many people reading this would say, 'well I didn't know until I was in love". That may be true, I don't know you or your situation, But I can say that in the case of one of my friends and my sister, who are both in awful relationships that would be a lie.
The truth is that almost always the signs are there very early on. We just choose to ignore them, and usually for the wrong reasons. We usually ignore them because we don't want to be alone or the person looks really hot, etc. For dumb reasons. And before we know it we're in over our heads and feel trapped and unsure of what to do.
The good news is that there are things you can do. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
1. Of course, for the purpose of this article, when I talk about a bad relationship I don't mean an abusive one. I just mean that the two of you aren't compatible and don't get along. If there is abuse going on find help, go to a shelter, go to visit out of town friends, whatever you have to do to get away and be safe.
If, it's not that dire, try to determine (be honest) if the two of you can work on things and make them better. Sometimes the troubles in a relationship are minor and we can easily fix them as long as both parties are willing to try. If you truly think your partner might be willing to give it a try, than by all means give it a try.
2. Sometimes when one partner starts questioning the relationship, and suggesting that the two of you make changes, the other partner will start to get scared and suggest that the two of you take it to the next level. I know this sounds counterintuitive, but it happens. If you start noticing the flaws in your partner or the relationship your partner may start to feel unsure of them self and in order to keep you they might try to lock you in tighter by suggesting that you get married or move in together.
Don't be fooled. If your partner does this it means they are trying to avoid the real issue and they're trying to manipulate you and play on your emotions. Truthfully, if that happens, it should make you question the relationship even more, not less.
If your family or close friend start questions about relationship you're in, than it's time you take heed and listen. They are more often than not, right to be concerned for you.
I guess when it comes right down to it my first bit of advice would be to stay out of bad relationships in the first place. I know many people reading this would say, 'well I didn't know until I was in love". That may be true, I don't know you or your situation, But I can say that in the case of one of my friends and my sister, who are both in awful relationships that would be a lie.
The truth is that almost always the signs are there very early on. We just choose to ignore them, and usually for the wrong reasons. We usually ignore them because we don't want to be alone or the person looks really hot, etc. For dumb reasons. And before we know it we're in over our heads and feel trapped and unsure of what to do.
The good news is that there are things you can do. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
1. Of course, for the purpose of this article, when I talk about a bad relationship I don't mean an abusive one. I just mean that the two of you aren't compatible and don't get along. If there is abuse going on find help, go to a shelter, go to visit out of town friends, whatever you have to do to get away and be safe.
If, it's not that dire, try to determine (be honest) if the two of you can work on things and make them better. Sometimes the troubles in a relationship are minor and we can easily fix them as long as both parties are willing to try. If you truly think your partner might be willing to give it a try, than by all means give it a try.
2. Sometimes when one partner starts questioning the relationship, and suggesting that the two of you make changes, the other partner will start to get scared and suggest that the two of you take it to the next level. I know this sounds counterintuitive, but it happens. If you start noticing the flaws in your partner or the relationship your partner may start to feel unsure of them self and in order to keep you they might try to lock you in tighter by suggesting that you get married or move in together.
Don't be fooled. If your partner does this it means they are trying to avoid the real issue and they're trying to manipulate you and play on your emotions. Truthfully, if that happens, it should make you question the relationship even more, not less.
If your family or close friend start questions about relationship you're in, than it's time you take heed and listen. They are more often than not, right to be concerned for you.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Definitive Steps to Get Him to Commit
Your boyfriend won't commit what should you do? Many women go through long dating stages that make some of them lose hope in frustration. However, you can get him to commit to you only, and the process is easier than you imagine. It is very important for you to know these measures given the high number of men who seem to enjoy the dating process so much so that they let the stage go on endlessly. Unfortunately, this is something that creates a lot of frustration for many of us, as we naturally would like to see our friendships go to the next level where we walk down the aisle with our guys.
Here are some of the things you can do in order to encourage him and get him to commit. The trick is to make him think of the idea on his own. All you will do is to plant the seed in his mind without making it seem that this is your own idea.
Understand his way of thinking
In order for you to succeed in planting the seed of marriage in your boyfriend's mind, you should first of all have a good understanding of how he thinks. One of the things that men hate is to be pressurized into issues, particularly with women. This means that if you raise the issue of marriage, you will just make your boyfriend become defensive. He will resist your advances quite strongly, and if this goes on for some time, the resultant friction will erode your relationship.
Think about yourself
If your boyfriend won't commit, you should not focus on him but on yourself. Make your own independent plans that he is not a part of at all. Men are hardly attracted to women who are always dependent on them. Hence you need to demonstrate your independence and you will be more appealing to your boyfriend.
If you keep talking about your hopes of the future, you will just be doing what he expects of you. It is when you stop any such talks that you will arrest his attention, and he will be interested in taking your friendship to the next level.
Watch your attitude
The way you behave matters a lot if you would like to get him to commit and consider asking for your hand in marriage. Nothing that you do is too insignificant to count in influencing your guy in one way or the other. For instance, if you are too dramatic through an excessive show of emotions, the man is not likely to consider marrying you.
You should be a fairly simple and happy individual if you want to win the favor of your man. Of course, you should not go to the extreme opposite and stop showing your feelings in any way. Control is the key. This will make you earn his respect and admiration. In a nutshell, if your company makes the man uncomfortable in some way, you should not expect to win his heart.
Here are some of the things you can do in order to encourage him and get him to commit. The trick is to make him think of the idea on his own. All you will do is to plant the seed in his mind without making it seem that this is your own idea.
Understand his way of thinking
In order for you to succeed in planting the seed of marriage in your boyfriend's mind, you should first of all have a good understanding of how he thinks. One of the things that men hate is to be pressurized into issues, particularly with women. This means that if you raise the issue of marriage, you will just make your boyfriend become defensive. He will resist your advances quite strongly, and if this goes on for some time, the resultant friction will erode your relationship.
Think about yourself
If your boyfriend won't commit, you should not focus on him but on yourself. Make your own independent plans that he is not a part of at all. Men are hardly attracted to women who are always dependent on them. Hence you need to demonstrate your independence and you will be more appealing to your boyfriend.
If you keep talking about your hopes of the future, you will just be doing what he expects of you. It is when you stop any such talks that you will arrest his attention, and he will be interested in taking your friendship to the next level.
Watch your attitude
The way you behave matters a lot if you would like to get him to commit and consider asking for your hand in marriage. Nothing that you do is too insignificant to count in influencing your guy in one way or the other. For instance, if you are too dramatic through an excessive show of emotions, the man is not likely to consider marrying you.
You should be a fairly simple and happy individual if you want to win the favor of your man. Of course, you should not go to the extreme opposite and stop showing your feelings in any way. Control is the key. This will make you earn his respect and admiration. In a nutshell, if your company makes the man uncomfortable in some way, you should not expect to win his heart.
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